Real

Sometimes, I feel like I live in The Matrix, as though my life isn’t real. I feel like I am living in a dream. I have always thought there was something different out there, something worse, something better. Is there really that much poverty going on in the world? Is God’s love so far beyond me that I can’t even come close to understanding it? I feel as though I sit in between those two thoughts, and today they come closer and closer.
People like to tell me I’m real, to a fault most times. I hope that’s true, not the fault part. I am positive that I am flawed. I experience it firsthand every day. I mess up! Those of you who know me are probably saying, “Tell us something new.” Well, I say this because I am doing these discipleship studies with the boys at the center. Later today I will talk about being holy or set apart. This always bothers me, even when I speak to my youth about it. I don’t understand God. It makes me laugh. Why God chooses to use the flawed people, I don’t know? I take solace in the fact that he knew what the disciples were before he let them take control too. I try to be Holy. I try to do what is right. I just fail so often. But God encourages me to do better. So I try! He loves me and supports me. And so I try again! I don’t like to fail, so, mistakes drive me to the point of being physically sick. I try to focus on Jesus and remember to keep plugging away. He is the example that I want to strive for, and when I am teaching, he is the teacher I want to be like.
Sunday, I spoke to the boys about being servant leaders, forgiveness, and the first shall be last. It was funny to watch their faces as the words were interpreted to them. Their lives are tuff. Their pasts are painful. Their hurts are real. They make real mistakes. They do dumb things. They are flawed just like me. Each hour provides an opportunity to show them what God wants from us. I try! I teach! I pray! I SMILE – as I watch all the older boys wait at the end of the line this week to get their food and when they say sorry as they knock others down. I encourage as I see them fail. I remember that I do too! When the gospel is new to people, sharing it can feel like real ministry. So here we are trying, learning, failing, encouraging, receiving, and trying again. I appreciate the realness I see in them.
I want them to know that God’s love is even greater than they can comprehend as well. I want them to know that it is REAL! Each day is full of love. Yes, it comes in all different forms. It comes from many of you reading this now through your prayers and your sponsorship. Those gifts help meet their physical needs and bring them spiritual support. They hear it when you skype them and smile and laugh. It’s in their care givers who wake them two or three times a night so they won’t wet the bed. The hours they sit and fix their hair. The times they pick them up when they fall. It’s in the cooks who prepare their 3 meals every day. It’s in the laundresses who wash their clothes and clean up after them. It’s in the nurse who puts ointment on boo boos. It’s in the administrative staff, Quammi, Osseh, and Mohammed, who are on the go all over town. It’s in the security who make sure they are protected. It’s in Cari who tirelessly gives of herself to be here and make sure everything runs. It’s in the board of directors who execute decisions to benefit each and every child. It’s in Erica and Tina who make it possible for these children to feel it all. It’s in God because it is who He is.
Each day here is real. Poverty is all around us, but God’s love is too. This center is set apart because it acknowledges that. As these precious children are provided the opportunity to learn from us all, may we be real. Acknowledging our humanness, but striving for God’s holiness. I appreciate your prayers as I work toward that too. May you choose 2B real today and may you encourage others in their pursuit of holiness.